The Five Stages of Attending a Conference
Thursday, May 10, 2012 at 1:42PM Attending a conference is a big deal for me. Leaving my family, engaging with smart people and travelling on an airplane all add up to a perfect storm of mental states. They are: Excitement & Anticipation, Anxiety & Nervousness, Inspiration & Motivation, Exhaustion & Depression and Determination & Focus. I go through each one every time I go away and I tend to forget that they are coming. I am currently stuck in Exhaustion after an amazing weekend at the Mom 2.0 Summit in Key Biscayne, wondering if it was all a dream. It seems that I will need a little more sleep and processing to get to Determination, but for now, let's look a little closer at each one.
In this picture I am fully and completely in Stage Three. Inspiration is awesome.
Stage One: Excitement & Anticipation
This is the fantastic feeling you get when you decide to attend a conference and particularly after you have booked your travel and hotel. It is exhilarating and filled with all the positive anticipation of wonderful things to come. If you have never attended a conference, this stage is fairly short, as you don't know what to expect and you will quickly get to stage two, but if you have been to a conference before and you know what is to come, you can linger here for while. Use the energy of this stage to read everything on the conference web site, print out your schedule and read up on the speakers. The more homework you do before the conference actually starts, the better prepared you will be for all the people you will be meeting. I love to feel like I can hit the ground running once I get there and not have to spend too much time getting oriented.
Stage Two: Anxiety & Nervousness
This stage is wicked for anyone who has not been to a conference before, but it can be hard even for those who have been a few times. Plane travel can make people anxious, or leaving your family. Those attendees who are speaking or volunteering may be anxious about what it is they need to contribute. Whatever your experience, most everyone will feel this to some degree over some part of attending a conference. Your coping skills (and medications!) will determine how you fair here, but generally it dissipates once you get into the swing of the conference or deliver your talk. Keep in mind that it may manifest in different ways. Irrationally obsessing over what you will wear? You are anxious and should do a shot a tequila. Telling yourself no one is going to like you? You are anxious and need a pep talk from the person you love the most. Freaking out that you are too fat/shy/socially-inept? You are anxious and need a shot of tequila AND a pep talk from the person you love the most. Seriously though? You need to know that this is the single most welcoming and supportive community out there.
Stage Three: Inspiration & Motivation
This is THE MOST thrilling part of the process and if it is a good conference you will feel this from the first speaker all the way to the last. Mom 2.0 Summit had this in ABUNDANCE. Literally everyone I spoke to was feeling inspired by this conference. It should just be called the Inspiring Women Conference. The panels were filled with women who had excellent stories to tell about building businesses, or following their passions, or fighting against the flow to achieve success. Even if you only saw one panel and then went to the pool, you would have, at the very least, felt inspired to do more/better by the breath-taking location (Key Biscayne/Miami) and the attentive and gracious staff (the Ritz-Carlton rocks!) The inspiration and motivation stage usually lasts a few days after you return home, which is enough time to follow up with the amazing people you met and write down all your fabulous plans for how you will change the world. Important note: you really should get those things done BEFORE stage four hits, so don't delay! You can recover some of the inspiration in stage five, but it's much better to write it all down when you are in the midst of it.
Stage Four: Exhaustion & Depression
This is the inevitable crash that comes along with the high of a conference. You may find yourself wondering who these screaming children are and how you could have fallen asleep with your face on the hardwood floor. (That happened to me yesterday, for real.) This is a scary stage because you will find yourself wondering if it was all just a dream (it wasn't), if you really did talk to all those amazing women you have admired forever (you did), if somehow life was special for just those few days and now that you are back in your normal life nothing has changed (things have changed, trust me). You may feel like an imposter (you aren't), or guilty for indulging in yourself (don't give in to the guilt). You may be overwhelmed with so much good stuff that you will not be able to write about it. (This is ME! Hello!) DO NOT linger here. Do whatever you can to get out of this stage. Sleep. Take a break from the computer. Hug your kids. Get dirty in the garden. Write about the five stages of attending a conference! Accept that life cannot possibly be a conference all the time. Give yourself the time and space to recover from all that awesomeness. Remember that this will pass and soon you will be in a better place. Stage five!
Stage Five: Determination & Focus
This is where we are all striving to be, the end place for all these ups and downs. We work hard and risk ourselves to get to a place where we know EXACTLY what it is that we have to do. We have a plan, those people that we made connections with begin to return the energy, and the seeds that were planted when were at the conference in those moments of inspiration will start to grow and blossom. This stage may not arrive for a few weeks post-conference, but with luck, this is the stage in which we spend the most time. It is the place with the hardest work, but this is what we are all looking for when we go to these events. Nothing gets done without determination and focus, so you must BE SURE to get yourself to this stage. All that inspiration you felt? It pushes you to dream great things, but those women who are actually doing something about it, whatever *IT* is, have gotten to this fantastic place of determination and focus and are acting on their dreams. You can get here too and I'll tell you a little secret, the more people that are here, working together, the better *IT* is. So come with us to the land of determination and focus and put something good into the world! (BTW - It is when this stage begins to wear off, that we need to start the process all over again. I'll be at BlogHer in August and Camp Mighty in November, you?)
After I get myself out of exhaustion and depression (I think I need the weekend) I will be able to write about the entire experience in a much clearer way. I did cover two of the break out sessions during the conference. I was so thrilled to be a live blogger (you can see all the live blogging posts here) and I was proud of myself for being able to write about those specific sessions in the midst of everything going on. It was a different rhythm for me, compared to when I attended ALT Summit, but I LOVED it. Being a part of the team was awesome and I met many wonderful people because I was involved with everything going on. I really enjoyed community building and supporting the amazing women who put this conference on. I have a bunch of pictures too, although I am a little disappointed with how some of them turned out. My priority certainly wasn't taking pictures on this trip and it shows, but that's ok. I'm going to post the blurry picture that I took of Karen and Laura anyway, because they are amazing and beautiful (even when blurry) and I love them, dammit! (But ladies? Can I have a do over please?)
Stayed tuned for at least one more post about the conference from me, probably next week. If you have any tips for getting out of the post conference crash, I'd love to hear it!
Blogging, Conferences, Five Stages, Mom 2.0 in Inspiration
Reader Comments (14)
I could not agree more about the stages! I am nearing stage five but definitely need to draw on stage three to make sure that my focus is intentional and goal oriented. I keep hearing such fabulous things about Camp Mighty--would love to attend one year!
Love, love love this! Here's some advice from my sample size of ONE conference attended (Alt) although I want to go to Camp Mighty as well this year. And Alt again. And Mom2mom since it'll be on the west coast.
What helped me from the inevitable (and as you note, it IS inevitable) crash, is to revel in all the posts about the conference. I felt like I was in this liminal space - I was no longer at the conference yet I also was no longer the person who left BEFORE the conference. I was in-between.
So read those posts and make summary notes of your notes from the breakout sessions and keynotes. Take a peak at your goals before the conference - see if they've changed. Circle back to those summary notes. I took a highlighter and highlighted every to do. Then made a list of those. Then prioritized.
Take a breath. Take another. Hug your kids. Do some laundry and trust that you don't have to do it all today or tomorrow or even next week. Things will get implemented, goals will be met, emails will be sent, writing will happen. But without the fodder of your real life and those three charming boys (one big and two small), you'll have nothing to write about anyhow.
And how's this idea - get out to your studio and mess around with some paint - paint your experience...
Elena - you HAVE to come to Camp Mighty. It was so great. I have a category about it here on the site because I wrote about it so much. Check it out and email me if you like!
Sandra - thank you!! You are the best. My plan for tomorrow is to totally paint. I'm enrolled in Lisa Congdon's "Get Your Paint On" ecourse and I am a week behind. I need to do two paintings by the end of the weekend. Once that is done I can begin to write about Mom 2, but yes, until then, totally reading all the posts about it. It's so interesting to see what other people's take aways were.
I totally get you and I completely agree! I would call it the "conference roller coaster mood", I guess. Although this one (MOM2.0SUMMIT) was only going up (except that it ended and we fell down).
I think I'm getting myself in the right mood (DETERMINATION) to be able to get me back on track (FOCUS)!
Pedro - I wish we had met! Hopefully next year.
There should be a stage called "Conference Black Out Period" for those of us that refuse to read recaps right away. I prefer to sit with my own thoughts first THEN slowly read everyone else's. I'm always a step behind, but my head doesn't explode. :)
PS? You're awesome!
Great post - I'm attending MY first (Alt) next year and have no doubt that I will experience each of these stages - will bookmark this for sure! xo
Leslie, I just can't wait for us to connect and chat again about photography. This was my first conference as an attendee but it used to be my full time job to shoot them so ironically I felt at home and back in the game!
But the networking is intense and exhausting. I too would like to crawl into a warm dark hole, snuggle with my toddler and hold on the rest of LIFE.
Take it easy and when you're rested, we'll talk ; )
Best, Vicky
Pam - I think we can include the black out period in Stage four. It's a coping skill for sure. And thank you, you are so sweet and I am so glad that we spent time together!
Sheri! Can't wait to see you at ALT.
Vicky - yes, looking forward to more photos conversations with you. It's so great that you visit my hometown! I'll see you in the summer for sure, but email me any time.
Loved this Leslie. I can totally relate to all of the stages but especially Stage two. Margaritas by the pool helped some with this!
Really enjoyed Mom 2.0 but seem like it went by too fast. And really enjoyed meeting you there. Not sure which conference will be my next one but there will be a next one!
Well put, Leslie. I'm currently moving into Stage 5, but my Stage 4 was particularly painful, with a headcold caught on the airplane and a wasp sting. (Seriously?) However, I'm feeling ready to tackle what's next and can't wait for my plan to come together!
Great job on the liveblogging - it takes some serious concentration and fast typing skills.
Thanks Tarable! I have gotten sick on my last two trips, but not this one, thank goodness. It makes it so much harder to recover! I feel for you. Good luck in Stage 5.
Thanks for this post! I've been to many conferences, but I went to them to help me build products for the company I was working for at the time. And now this year I'm going to BlogHer — all for me. Not sure what to expect, except that it will be very different from all those other conferences.
Rachael, I'll see you there! It'll be my first time and I've heard it's big, but everyone will be there. Looking forward to whatever happens!